Meet Rob. We can’t show you his face. Not because he’s hiding from the alpaca mafia—but because he used to be a dentist and prefers a little mystery. He says, “I didn’t get into alpaca farming for the fame… or the spit showers.” Fair enough.
Rob lives solo on a wild alpaca ranch—23 fluffy spit-enigmas strong. He’s armed with a toolbox, a rugged hat, and a borderline unhealthy respect for early intervention. That’s why he is ready for Solo Alert, the twice-daily check‑in app for people who live on their own.
“If I ever faceplant into a rogue fence post, or one of these four‑legged espresso machines delivers a direct spitball to my goggles, I want the cavalry notified—stat,” Rob explains, scraping alpaca drool off his boots.
Yes, spitball warfare. Alpacas are darling… until you’re the unsuspecting target of their aerodynamic grass grenades.
“I’ve seen things,” Rob murmurs, eyes darting between the paddock and the horizon. “Un‐spit‐able things.”
Funny thing—Rob used to be a dentist. He wielded drills, flossed smiles, and probably had a fan club of gingivitis sufferers chanting his name. Then one day he traded mouth mirrors for manure shovels and hasn’t looked back… though he’s become an Olympic‑level ducker.
Dental instincts die hard. Rob’s convinced that if alpacas brushed and flossed daily, the paddock might remain—gulp—spit‑free. He’s trialled:
-
Peppermint hay (alpacas thought it was mint-flavored wallpaper)
-
Chew‑on toothbrushs (one alpaca used it as a chew toy)
-
A rinse station (built from a feed bin and a foot pump—then promptly chewed)
Charts? Oh, we have charts. Graphs? Explosive data. Breakthroughs? Not so much… yet.
Meanwhile, Rob swears by Solo Alert. He’s been part of our testing group and twice a day, he taps “I’m OK.” No bulky gadgets. No awkward wristbands. Just peace of mind that if he goes down—whether by tripping, spitblast, or runaway wheelbarrow—his safety circle is alerted automatically.
“It’s like flossing,” he deadpans. “You think you can skip it… until that day you really shouldn’t.”
🦙🪥 Solo Alert is a daily check-in app for people who live alone. Simple. Reliable. There when it matters. And it’s discrete – it is ONLY when you miss a check-in that your safety circle is alerted.
Be one of the first to have access to this potentially lifesaving technology and join the waitlist today at https://solo-alert.com – the app will be in the App Store in late June or early July 2025!
#SoloAlert #SoloButNeverAlone #WhosGotYourBack #CheckIn #StaySafe
